Broken Again

I feel numb. If there’s such a thing.

I lost the love of my life. I lost the person I would have died for. I lost reason in my life. I lost… I…

I can’t breathe properly. My lungs are making an effort so ridiculous to work. My mind is racing. The tears, they struggle to leave the inside of my body. 

God, if you really understood how much I love you! 

I’m trying to fall asleep and I can’t think of anything else but the last words I saw written. Written by you. By you!!!

Damn my life, my heart, my soul! I can’t find peace in this fucking existence. Damn, I love you, you fucking idiot!

My body can barely process movement. I’m laying on my bed and I wish you would have just ran a knife across my neck. But you have finished me, anyways…

I had just found out how love could be a beautiful emotion. And I got torn into tiny fucking pieces, once more. I feel…

Lord, I feel empty. Help me gather strenght to move along.

I lost my love. The person whose hands fit mine perfectly. The person whose mind was mine and whose soul was as free as me. The person who understood my darkest secrets and moments. 

I’m broken. 

And I’m afraid this is the time I can’t fix myself back. The pieces are too many, too small and also, weirdly, too heavy.