I knew this day was gonna come. I knew it was meant to be. I just hoped it would be easier…
I was left out on the street under the chilling rain, again. I was left to freeze to my bones and it was an unavoidable fate.
I wish I could cry about it. But I am unable to release my emotions. They are stuck and they are reluctant to see what’s outside. And I fear that, now, they will get buried deeper inside. To a point of no return.
The rain keeps falling around me and its drops hit my skin like bullets and my flesh is eaten alive by the cold water. But I have no cares. I am numb. I am but this body.
I feel disconnected from the world more than ever before. And that frightens me. But at the same time, I have no cares. I gave all I had to give and so much more…
(God make the tears come out of my eyes, please.)
I feel so numb. I feel so insanely numb.
(God, help me feel something again, please.)
I am broken.
The November rain is unbearable. But I can’t seem to have the willingness to go and get a shelter. Because I have no cares. I will stay here. And contemplate the no one to come. And the nothing to exist.
I had hoped so much but I knew this was gonna happen… I knew and still…
(God, I want this pain to cease, please.)
I hoped it would be different. I hoped it would be easier…
But I am still under the relentless November rain.