Enfant Terrible

Their words pierced through me like I was a voodoo doll. But the needles were said to be covered in some kind of anaesthetic. And still they hurt. When I see them coming and when they tear my skin apart.

Everything is but words. However they are still painful. And make me wanna disconnect from this world even more.

I cannot keep up with these games. I cannot handle these false prophecies thrown around me. I cannot be like everyone else expects me to be.

I have been in chains for so long. I have the scars on my arms and ankles. Too deep to hide. But the deepest are on my mind. They make me scared to death, to be locked away and to have to forever forsake my essence.

I was not born to be a slave. I was not born to be closed in my own shell of sadness and terror.

But people just can’t stay away from hurting others. And for me, that just gives me one more reason to shut off. And want to leave everything behind.

I am terrible (by common sense law) but I am still a human being. I also deserve to be. And space.

It feels sometimes that, all I get is anxiety. And from the people that should be relieving it.

I am terrible. But I am still a good person. And I try. I try so hard all the fucking time.

But I will keep on forging my path. I have the willingness to do so. It’s my cause.

I will be terrible. I will do as I please. I wanna come to my deathbed and say I have experienced life.

Regrets are overrated. But life, oh, life is so underrated. And its possibilities, so much more. But I will not be stopped.

Not by words, not by chains, not by anxiety.

I will be terrible. Always.

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