Powerless

Do you know how sometimes shit just happens and it comes out of fucking nowhere and it leaves you so fucking frustrated and disappointed?

Yeah, we all do.

It might be one of the things that all humans relate to, all in a different level, all to a point of no return.

One thing is for certain: Shit happens.

But one of the things that is most frustrating is when it happens between you and people you love dearly.

One thing that I absolutely hate (but need to come to terms with) is conflict. And it is something that can either sneak up on you or something you see coming (and you have seen it coming for a long while).

Conflict is a complicated paradigm. Especially for people with zero to low social skills. Which basically describes me. And how to deal?

One thing I know is I am a loving human being. So conflict, in its essence, goes against all my natural feelings and courses of action. And there, when confronted with it, I feel absolutely powerless. It’s my kryptonite.

So how can I work with it? Or even, against it?

I have always considered my love would solve it all but the truth is, sometimes, it doesn’t and one has to recognize failure or lack of power in something or towards a situation. Which, in this society, brands you as a weak link.

So, really, how to deal?

In all honesty, I have no idea. But one other thing I have come to realize is… it’s okay to be weak. It’s okay to fall. It’s okay to be at the mercy of life or its predicaments.

One thing I like to consider is how everyone (and I mean everyone) is struggling and trying, in their own way, to get a crack at life. And obviously, I think I must emphasize, I draw no pleasure from others suffering. Literally none. But everyone is fighting.

That being said, feeling powerless or coming to terms with your own reality is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of struggle. It means, also, and quite simply, you are living.

Power can be quite relative. As much as anything can be. But what one needs to realize is, it is not everything in life. Power is not everything. Power is mostly, if I understand correctly, a feeling. And as many other things that can be flagged as feelings, it is fleeting. And it should be.

One thing everyone needs to comprehend (one, including myself) is everything changes. And what was once scary or overwhelming becomes simple and manageable.

Fear not what you might consider out of control!

And as I remember my mother’s words, which she would kindly mention every now and again: “Everything has a solution, except for death.”, I am grateful. I am grateful because I came to a point in life where I can actually understand what it means. And it is true. Everything has a solution.

So, in conclusion, as much as life might feel like a giant ball of never ending shit, it is not. There is a solution. You can overcome it. You can get over it. You can solve anything.

Life. Is. Beautiful. Life is wonderful. Life is worth it.

Power is fleeting. Power is but a feeling. And please, never forget it!

Shit happens. It does. But so does life. And in more ways than one, life is not shit. Life is beautiful. And everything has a solution.

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