Living with a supermassive black hole
To where all energy (light or otherwise) will go to be absorbed into oblivion
To where all seems to go to remain gone.
And yet, at the other end, there’s infinity
Which I thought had been engulfed to perhaps be transformed
And then goes to become an abyss
Maybe Lavoisier didn’t know better
Maybe Nietzsche did or just pretended he did
Maybe I became the supermassive black hole I have gazed into for too long
Maybe I needed the abyss to draw dark matter and light
Maybe I have been the one pulling energy and matter all this time…
I thought I have been living with a supermassive black hole
And I thought I could look out for the stars without interference
And yet my gravitational pull is crushing them and dragging them towards me
As the laws of Nature so predicted.
I believed I had the knowledge to protect me
But even science can’t fight Nature
It can only attempt to measure it, define it. Never control it.
But the supermassive black hole inside me craves control
Because losing control means losing power
Losing control means losing the support of these so-called laws
Losing control means the supermassive abyss might become nothing
And the abyss might seem devoided but in the end, it never is.
In Nature, nothing is created.
Nothing is lost.
Everything is transformed.
But is a supermassive black hole, meant to capture all light and good matter, supposed to be transformed?
How can it morph into something that will give light?
How can it morph into an asteroid?
How can it morph into a life-sustaining planet?
All I see now is the abyss.
Because I have gazed into it for too damn long. And I see no light.
I became the abyss I looked out for and now I can’t turn into a supernova.
I might explode into a ray of light and dust and be forgotten.
But Lavoisier said nothing is ever lost…
But maybe he’s wrong.