Belong Nowhere

We have all been raised on this message and by now, it seems to be in a past so distant, so alienated from our reality, that we no longer feel like we even know the meaning of it.

“You can belong anywhere.”

Now, it feels like the homeless kook outside our office is holding a sign with these words smeared all over, and shouting it aimlessly, at the same time.

“You can belong anywhere.”

It’s odd. We all once believed these words. And now we are typing our hearts out and chatting our guts away. It feels like emptiness. It sounds like the news, when you dare to turn on the TV. All fake, all meaningless, all static.

Do we even understand belonging?

Dark times surround us and we feel the insanity rising to levels we would previously deem absurd, even unattainable.

“You can belong anywhere.”

And yet, loneliness crushes us our bones, squeezes the marrow out of them, draws any hint of life from our tired hearts and souls.

Dystopia is no longer a far cry out of this reality. Regardless, we feel like we have no more strength in us to put up a fight. We concede to what we have and we cease to have anything else.

How do you overcome the need to pretend and start grabbing your life by the neck, grasp it tightly so it doesn’t run away like everything else?

“You can belong anywhere.”

And the expression becomes background noise. You can no longer hear it but it remains in the back of your mind.

And we keep hitting the keyboard like addicted mice. And we keep chatting away, hoping it will change our lives.

You pray not to become numb or a cynic but the world keeps gnawing at your skin. One day, with another bite, it might eat your entire body out.

“You can belong anywhere.”

And yet, you can’t. No place is supposed to hold you, save you, accomodate you.

This world is blue, cold, uninviting. Sometimes, it paints itself black.

“You can belong anywhere.”

There are too many times where my own belief fails me. But that might be because I’m not even sure I am supposed to belong anywhere. And with this I don’t mean I feel completely marginalized, I just mean I still haven’t found a place that made me understand belonging.

Back home, I feel belonging. And even then, it escapes my fingers, at times. Where I am at the moment, I don’t. But that’s life, I suppose.

I had high hopes for this life. And the worst part is, I was fed these expectations. At breakfast, lunch and dinner. By all means, willing or unwilling.

I do know I wasn’t the only one. We all feel hopelessly alone. We all feel miserably lost. We missed out on the richness of life because we were led to believe we would one day have it.

Now, don’t be fooled by my words. I’m a pessimistic optimist, if there is such a thing. I just don’t feel like I belong anywhere.

And yet… “We can all belong anywhere.” Someone know where?

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