Through the looking glass, it all seems pretty clear and straightforward. And yet, it’s the only way you can spot the weariness within yourself: the one that transpires outwardly, the one that you so industriously attempted to conceal. The brightness is punishing, and it feels like nothing else could ever capture you so well. It feels like a level of Hell no one managed to reach before and yet, it’s one you recognize as painfully familiar.
The tears in your eyes are real, but only so because you understand how it all has been trailing within your brain for too long. The exhaustion reveals the brokenness you have allowed without reservations, the spotlight shining over it is reality that had never really seeped in until that moment. You realize so many things no longer belong within and without you, and it is a comprehension that requires a toll you’re not sure you are able to afford. It all feels like too much to grasp.
You look into the glass once more and you discover it is inside yourself. Your own vision belongs to yourself and it finally makes sense. The clarity outside begins to fade lightly but not to completion. It’s a mild dusk occurring. You save yourself from your own sensible fatalities and you’re born again.
You decide to pay the price, as liberation smiles from the depths of your being. You feel like you will no longer need to hide. And in truth, you won’t.
The world around you shifts. However, it’s not a change that frightens you to the core. It’s a necessary one.
Your face returns to its original coloration. No more dark edges under your dreary eyes, no more unsatisfying turns of lips.
One day, you will look back and it will all be at the beginning of an indication. It will all be outlined and a part of a much more intelligible reasoning. In the moment, it all feels like a sketch.
The looking glass will remain within you, so you can keep looking from inside yourself. So no distancing will take place, so no dissociative thoughts will haunt you mercilessly. You will see everything for what it is and you will be thankful.
For now, the looking glass is transitioning. It’s in motion, an action that cannot be held back. You will understand it later, I promise. It will all be worth it.
Keep pushing forward, keep demonstrating yourself. It will all be worth it.