I Rest

Sleepless nights

Endless fights

With myself and my thoughts

And my past

What I can recall

And what I can’t when I thought I knew it all

Your face, your words

Your hurt,

My pain, my worth

All hurts

Dark circles in the early morning

Dizzy, dizzy feelings

And synaptic pulses

Shivers and muscle impulses

I awaken from an insomnia

That never shutters

Late night convenience store

For dreams inexperienced

I knew I dreamt of you

Split second of a drowsy longing

And I forgot you again

Again and again

I remembered you too

A clandestine kiss stolen in the Summer haze

There go the olden days

Sips of stale beer

And staler conversation

Dusty thoughts

Flowing in the night

Dawn light shines through the blinder

Nightmare reminder

It’s Monday again

And again and yet again

Stranger’s music comfort

Passion never reciprocated

Unrequited lusts

And isn’t it all a bust?

Grind, grind and grind a brain

It’s all for the main

Misunderstanding of the basic

Fundamental respect cracks

And love dies

It perishes with words

And actions and inactions

Dissatisfaction of the wild

The evening threatens

No, it terrorizes

Domesticated eyes

Refuse to shut

Slepless nights

Endless fights

Again and again

A memory resurfaced

And the rabbit hole calls again

The abyss looks back at me

And I allow my body to fall unto it

It hurts, it all hurts

City lights shine brighter from the inside

And yet I won’t come out

I am consumed by the abyss

Dizzy, dizzy feelings

Dust in the breeze

Light shines against the bedroom wall

It’s morning again

And my pillow craves my face

And my eyes shut

And my low heartbeat

I can’t remember much else

Your words, my worth

I question it all once more

And it’s as deep as my imagination

I can’t cover it all now

My face rests miserably

My temple pulsates

Hot and heavy and menacing

I need an hour

And I will be fine for the day

But twenty-or-so hours aren’t a thing

When the years come back for you

I try to forget

But memory still serves

Full course dinner

Dessert to keep you hanging

They don’t want to let you go

I breathe, I breathe

And I try to remember quiet

And it is fleeting

Floating in the wind

Butterflies in the Spring

Bees in the Summer

And the flowers grow and shine

And dance

And I’m home again

Eyelids and body draw down

Waters of a steady river

Cool breaths off my chest

I rest

I rest for the next sleepless nights.

I rest for my thoughts, my words and my worth.

I rest for love, for lust and for pain.

Dizzy feelings, memory, bees and flowers in the Summer.