I (Don’t) Wanna Be Sedated

The bottle hits my lips
Any fight or flight action is temporarily disabled
A sort of Freudian prophecy is fulfilled
I kiss my humor goodbye
Like I’ll never get to kiss you

I feel greedy, I feel great
I feel needy, I feel nothing in this state
I love you and it pains me to say
I miss your smile and I long for your sensible touch
But I’m numb now and my pain is fluctuating above me

Yet another bottle hits my lips
And it tastes just as lonely as me
I take steady sips
I take longer gulps
But I will never be set free

I feel greedy, but oh, I feel great
I feel needy but hey, I feel nothing in this state
I love you but I forgot to say
That I miss your smile so fucking much and fuck, do I long for your graceful touch
I’m so fucking numb now and my pain flew away

I remember the words I wrote down for myself, if I felt like slipping away:
“Your sedated state only separates you from all that you love.”
And sometimes this is easy to forget…
Despite my actions, I want to remember. I want to remember my own words. I want to remember you. I want to feel you. I want to kiss your lips once more.

Tell me I can kiss you. Today or in the future.
And that will fix my hungry, lonely heart.
I don’t want another bottle. I want your soft, sweet lips.
I want you. Today. Or in the future.
And I want to remember. God, I need to remember. My words. And you.

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